DVD Review: Cannibal Holocaust

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Called by some as the most notorious movie of all time, I discovered Cannibal Holocaust via my obsession with List Universe (now featured as a sidebar) and its Top 15 Most Disturbing Movies. This list appeared about a month ago. So, I added it to my Netflix queue and forgot about it. Well imagine my surprise when this appeared in my mailbox instead of the expected Season 1 disk of How I Met Your Mother. Go ahead, imagine it. I\’ll wait.

BTW. Stay tuned for my public marriage proposal to Canada\’s #1 export, Cobie Smulders.

Well this is easily the worst movie I\’ve ever seen.
From the comments on List Universe and IMDB, this movie was presented as a \”Blair Witch\” type movie only made two decades earlier. A documentary crew comprised of four Americans go deep into a South American jungle to do a documentary about cannibal tribes residing in the jungle. Of course they are never heard from again. So an NYU anthropologist goes to find out what happened to them, discovers the film they took and brings it back to America. The last half of the movie is made up largely of him showing the film to some studio executives who still want to make a documentary about what happened to those four people. We are then presented with a cavalcade of atrocities committed by the film crew until the natives have had enough and kill and eat the crew one by one.

When this movie first came out, it was thought that actual people were killed in it. I don\’t know why anyone thought this. All of the violence against humans looks extremely fake. The worst being the disemboweling of one of the film crew. It essentially looks like a garbage bag filled with organs sliced open. The violence against animals, however, is all too real. There is about a 5 minute interlude in which a tortoise is killed and sliced apart. Also killed on screen– a snake, a monkey, a pig and a raccoon-like animal.

  • breasts too many to count
  • way too many man parts
  • 1 turtle execution
  • 1 impaled woman
  • 1 castration
  • 1 monkey brain appetizer
  • tree-people fu
  • cannibal fu

F-

King Wally says avoid at all cost.

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