I Wish I Had Bigger Balls

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I was lucky enough to be invited to one of my favorite place the other night — the Platinum Club for a Stars game. I\’m a huge Stars fan. I \”Tivo\” almost every game. FYI A Tivoed hockey game can be watched in about an hour with liberal use of the 30-second skip.

The Platinum Club is a great place to watch a Stars game. Since it\’s by two bars, there\’s a party atmosphere.
Technically, we did not have seats in the Platinum Club. But instead hung out at this bar area that overlooks the defensive goal (1st and 3rd periods). The place was hoppin\’ and there was not a lot of room on the bar overlook. There was about seven of us and we had planted our respective flags on the bar. Well, some of that territory got lost during the first intermission. People wander off for beer, cigs, food and whatnot. Mmmmmmm whatnot.
That\’s fair. If someone takes our spot that we left, that\’s cool. I understand. Lot\’s of people want to watch the Stars.
Well, except if you\’re going to set your fat asses on the bar that overlooks the ice, please do me a favor AND WATCH THE FUCKING GAME. Good Chrsit, these four old coozes (and by old I mean probably my age) for two periods yenta-ed it up with nonstop chit chat and gossip. Only when the goal blared would they acknowledge the game going on in front of them and look up.
I could not even begin to comprehend why someone would stand in a spot that people interested in the game would like to stand, and then completely ignore the game. With every passing minute, I was letting my enjoyment of the game be detracted by my growing white-hot hatred for these obliviots. As the hatred built inside I could think only of how pathetic I was. If I had a pair of balls on me I would have said, \”Hey ladies, enjoying the game.\”


  1. I believe \”cooses\” is with a \”z\” not an \”s\”. Get your misogynistic terminology right or pay the price…

  2. Ya know, I knew that and meant to go back and fix it. It\’s fixed now. But if you\’re going to bitch about lack of content, it doesn\’t encourage me to provide more content when my spelling is being picked apart.

  3. Content! Content! Content! And breasts!Also, please sack up and mock the coozes. Citi Elf\’s got your back.

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