Live Blogging the NFL Playoffs: Cowboys @ Vikings

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Pregame:  This is a very important game.  The Cowboys must win it in order to maintain any hope of going to the Superbowl*.

Pregame:  Can we get Jimmy Carter out of retirement to broker a deal to put an end to the relentless AT&T/Verizon map wars?  Or at least can we get George DeJohn to put Luke Wilson on his detox program?

Q1 15:00 – Fuck this.  There’s a MonsterQuest marathon on the History Channel.  How exactly is bigfoot history?  And was bigfoot in cahoots with Hitler?

Q1 15:00 Cowboys win the toss!! GAME OVER!!

Q1 13:50 – Cool.  Miles  Austin with the running first down, using MB3 as the decoy.

Q1 13:02 – Roy Williams with his first incompletion.  But to be fair that was uncatchable for any receiver.  I just like to bash.

Q1 12:10 – This time Witten is the decoy for Creighton’s first down.  But I didn’t like seeing Romo point to where Williams needed to go after the huddle.  Yes, more bashing.

Q1 10:50 – [Fumble Recover Williams]  Romo coughs up third down fumble after being very careful with the ball for most of the season.

Q1 9:59 – [SACK by Ware]  Way to go  Dallas defense to get a quick three-and-out after the Romo fumble. 

Q1 9:50 – 8 yards for Jones.  Leonard Davis pulled to the left and just slobberkocked a dude.

Q1 8:11 – Another first down for Jones.  Griffin will have to wait until halftime to find his jock.

Q1 7:40 – Nice 4 yard power run by MB3.  A nice change up to Jones.  Obvious point I know, but I felt like I needed to make it.  Plus not a whole lot has being going on in the first quarter and I just wanted to write a longer item.  So there.

Q1 7:10 – Oh shit!  Fumble recovered by Romo.  Guys, let’s try to hang on to the ball, please.

Q1 6:30 – Oh shit!  Nice recovery by Austin on the tip.

Q1 5:38 – Really???  FG try with a shaky kicker?  Of course he missed.  Another nice drive by Dallas with no points to show.  This has been happening all year.  Will it cost them?  Against Fahvrah, you can’t leave points on the field.

Q1 5:02 – Nice stretch by Rice for the first down.   Also, nice pickup by the Vikings on the blitz.

Q1 4:04 – [TD Rice] What the fuck is Sensabaugh doing?  He’s not even trying to tackle Rice.  And this is why you can’t settle for long field goals (that are missed) when playing the Vikings. [Minn 7  Dal 0]

Q1 4:04 – What is indie movie darling Ellen Page doing in Cisco commercials??

Q1 4:04 – On second look, Sensabaugh had great coverage and I think he thought he had batted the pass away.  There is no recognition on his part that Rice has the ball.

Q1 3:34 – Witten make his first catch for a first down on first down.

Q1 3:16 – Nice MB3 run with him fighting for every one of those six yards.

Q1 2:31 – I had no hope for this play.  Marty B looked lost and confused presnap but caught the pass for the first down.  Aggies!!

Q1 1:57 – Ugh.  Let’s not dip too many times into the very shallow Marty B well.

Q1 1:08 – Is there an more snuggly bankey than Witten on third down?

End of 1st Quarter –  Minnesota 7  Dallas 0

Q2 14:13 – Wow.  Marty B with another first down.  Ball at the Vikings 9.

Q2 13:32 – WHY???  The Razorback hardly works and wastes a down it seems to me.

Q2 12:49 – SACK by Edwards

Q2 12:14 – [FG Suisham]  Phew.  But you can’t trade FGs for TDs. that wasted Razorback down looms large now.  [Minn 7  Dal 3]

Q2 12:14 – I gotta ask the question, when is DT Pat Williams due and should he be playing when he’s clearly in the fourth trimester.

Q2 12:00 – You can’t let Fahvrah to have that much time.

Q2 9:33 – Dang that Hamlin is firey.  He’s gonna get another fine if he keeps that up.

Q2 8:55 – Barbie can’t get to Fahvrah in time and the Vikings execute the screen perfectly for the first down.  Ugh.

Q2 8:14 – Refs are letting Jenkins play.  His last two defenses could have gone for pass interference.

Q2 7:23 – [TD Rice]  [Minn 14  Dal 3]

Q2 7:18 – WHAT??  We don’t need to get cute with the kick returns.  Let’s holster those until we need them at the end of the game.  Is this Wade waving the white flag that his offense can’t handle the Vikings D?

Q2 7:14 – That looked confusing presnap and it pretty much ended that way.

Q2 6:28 – Fumble #3 by Romo.  The Adams injury may have taken it’s first toll.

Q2 4:44 – Spencer with a nice tackle for a loss.  He looked pissed and that a statement on D needs to be made.

Q2 3:46 – [FG Longwell]  [Minn 17  Dal 3]  I’m losing my live blogging mojo and may start crying soon.

Q2 2:59 – Classic Romo, deftly avoids a sure sack and hits Witten for the first down.

Q2 2:00 – Gerode, snap the fucking ball when the guy is offsides.

Q2 1:45 – Spencer with another run stop for a loss.  He looks fired up to me.  But what do I know.  I’m a spare watching this on his couch in his drawers.

Q2 1:40 – Another run by the Vikings.  Are they content with a 2 TD lead?  Let’s hope this comes back to bite them.

Q2 1:30 – The draw to Taylor is good for a first down.  FUCK!

Q2 1:00 – Sack by Spencer and Barbie Carpenter.

Q2 0:13 – Creighton with the muff.  giggle.

Q2 0:00 – Well that didn’t go well

End of Half  Minnesota 17  Dallas 3

Your friendly neighborhood halftime sponsor:

Q3 13:10 – Scandrick gets away with two holds to force a Vikings punt.

Q3 12:55 – I’m not a fan of Newman on punt returns.  He needs to conserve his energy and maybe try to stop Rice for a change.

Q3 12:42 – 17 yard run by Jones.  This is a good start in the second half.

Q3 12:04 – Let’s just keep feeding it to Jones.  And off the field he goes.

Q3 11:30 – Another run, this time MB3, and another first down.  I guess Romo can’t fumble if they’re running the ball.

Q3 10:40 – Great read of the play by Edwards. MB3 dropped for a big loss.  They\’ll probably pass now.

Q3 10:00 – Another catch by Marty B, but for only 2 yards.

Q3 9:18 – Sack number five of Romo.

Q3 8:54 – You’re fucking kidding me!!!  Another 49 yard miss by Suisham.  This game is over.  The Cowboys can’t get in the endzone and the defense can only hold back the Vikings for so long.

Q3 8:33 – First accepted penalty by Dallas.  Well, so much for reducing your penalties in order to ensure greater success.

Q3 8:00 – Ugh.  Spencer needs to make that tackle.

Q3 5:01 – Ugh.  98 yards to draw to within a touchdown.  And I’ve had way too many Ughs on this live blog.

Q3 4:15 – Ugh.

Q3 2:55 – Sack by Ratlif.  The defense has showed up in the second half.  Now we need to see some offense in the second half.

Q3 2:00 – What the fuck?!?!  Sorry, I was tired of the Ughs.

Q3 1:07 – Ugh!! What the fuck?!?!?!  [INT Leber]  It’s been a fun, but this season is over.  Goodnight everyone!

End of the Third Quarter  Minnesota 17  Dallas 3

Q4 15:00 I’m going to drown my sorrows in a fine scotch.  If there’s anything worth noting it will be noted.  Otherwise I’ll be off on my first bike ride of the 2010.   mmmmmmmm drunken cycling.

Q4 14:23 [FG Longwell]  [Minn 20 Dal 3]

Q4 10:56 – I wonder what else is on.  Ooooh.  Psychic Kids on A&E.  The Idiocracy continues to creep upon us.

Q4 7:32 – [TD Rice] [Minn 27  Dal 3]

Q4 1:55 – [TD Shancoe] [Minn 34 Dal 3]  I don’t know why anyone should be upset about this touchdown.  If you don’t want to get scored on Dallas, do something about it.

Q4 0:23 – Why was Lost Executive Produce Damon Lindleoff standing next to Brett Favre?

End of Game  Minnesota 34  Dallas 3

Thanks to both of my readers for your support of these live blogs.  Stay tuned this April when I live blog all 162 games of the 2010 Texas Rangers season.

And if you’re too cheap and selfish to click on one of my Amazon links to support me and my precious dogs, please at least click on this link and donate to the Red Cross Haiti relief, if you haven’t donated already.  I’m looking at you guys Pat and Rush.


* A stupid and obvious sports point.

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