Eating Earth: Applebee’s

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An American gastronomic institution delights and amazes with both flair and style and makes my engagement something I would never forget.

The Food


My soon-to-be fiancé and I went for broke and got the Appetizer Sampler – mozzarella sticks, spinach and artichoke dip, cheese quesadilla grande and boneless chicken wings.  The only disappointment was the lack of gooey cheese in the chicken wings.


Are you fucking kidding me???  I’m here to eat, not graze.


After such a filling appetizers my STBF went for something lighter and ordered the Shrimp Fettuccine Alfredo Bowl.   This consisted of plump, juicy shrimp on a bed of pasta tossed with fresh broccoli, creamy garlic Alfredo sauce, and shredded Parmesan. Served with toasted side bread.  The attention to detail is remarkable at Applebee’s as almost three quarters of the shrimp were exquisitely  deveined.  And I don’t know who that Alfredo guy was or is, but he sure does know how to throw together a cheese sauce.

I, on the other hand, was still hungry and ordered the Fire Pit Bacon Burger.  This dude is piled with pepper-Jack cheese and slices of real Applewood smoked bacon and served on a toasted bun with smoky chipotle spread, lettuce, tomato, pickles and onions.  Wanting to save room for dessert, I told them to 86 the lettuce, tomatoes and pickles.


This was a truly special moment in my life.  I had pre-arrange for the entire wait staff to bring out our Strawberry Cheescake, classic cheesecake, graham cracker crumbs, strawberry sauce and whipped cream, and to sing loudly “Will You Marry Steve” to the tune of Happy Birthday.  Needless to say, she was very surprised and we eagerly wolfed down the cheese cake and celebrated with a bottle of Kendall-Jackson sparkling Rosé.


What I Liked

  • How I feel like I made a friend-for-life with my server Todd.
  • That almost everything on the menu is an excuse to consume more cheese.
  • All those whacky knick-knacks.  Or are they bric-a-brac?   I can never get that straight.
  • The bottomless 46oz Coca Cola tumbler.  All that cheese works up a powerful thirst.
  • When my fiancé and I were at a loss for conversation, we could always doodle on the placemats with the provided crayons.
  • Did I mention all the cheese?

What I Disliked

  • That I can’t live in an Applebee’s


With so many locations to choose from worldwide, it is going to take this blogger quite a while to hit every one of them.


Millions of Locations

1 Comment

  1. I'm betting your STBF is more an attempt to convert an NQAS*. Good times, though.prolus – a small, non-cancerous growth in the appendix* Not Quite A Sucker

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