As a response to NBC’s insistence on tape delaying until the evening the events that get the hausfraus watching, some comic genius has brought us this cavalcade of whimsy.
- BREAKING: American colonists announce independence, King to respond.
- BREAKING: Mark Spitz wins gold in 100m freestyle
- Tune in tonight for the Olympic Opening Ceremonies in Beijing
- BREAKING: Governor George W. Bush wins Florida, declared President-Elect. VP Gore to challenge.
- BREAKING: Dewey defeats Truman in landslide.
- BREAKING: Roman Emperor Theodosius bans Olympic Games, NBC delay to catch up shortly.
- Great Britain wins gold in Tug of War, event to be discontinued at Olympics
- CORRECTION: Dewey doesn\’t defeat Truman, Truman re-elected President.
- Sources: \”The British are coming, the British are coming\” re: Colonists declaring independence.
- BREAKING: Michael Jackson has died today at age 50.
- PROGRAMMING UPDATE: Unfortunately we are not able to delay Ryan Seacrest … or keep him off the set.
- JUST NOW: Michael Phelps wins Gold for the 4th time.
- Jimmy Carter announces U.S. boycott of the Olympic games this year.
- SPOILER ALERT: London to host 2012 Olympics
- We can\’t take credit for developing delays. Public transit, the Postal Service, airlines and doctor offices pioneered delaying decades ago
I still can't believe they dropped the shot on the Theodisius.esochly – Victorian term for something that sucked online.